The Rain practice
When you feel pain, you feel pain.
It is there. In your awareness.
How do you react?
What do you think and do?
This determines the route you follow and what happens.
It’s not what happens that matters as much as how you respond.
Why is this a key insight?
Because you cannot control what happens, or how life turns up.
How you respond to it, you can control.
You can become very skilful at the way you respond to how life turns up.
Focusing on what you can control rather than what you can’t means you put your energy in the right place for success.
The RAIN practice is one such skill.
RAIN is a way of meeting a moment of suffering in such a way that you create the conditions for relief.
It is fighting and resisting what is happening that causes more suffering.
RAIN – it stands for:
Recognise what is happening.
Be present.
You can label so you are the witness rather than caught up: “There is ….. (e.g./ pain, tension etc.).
This is being mindful of what is actually happening. It is only by being present in the moment can you take care of yourself and transform your experience.
Each time you skilfully relate and respond to pain or other causes of suffering, you are improving your ability and hence easing your suffering.
Acknowledge and allow what is happening to happen.
You are present with what is happening rather than resisting.
Resisting causes more suffering, as does wanting things to be another way.
Both take energy that could be used transforming the experience, which is an active process.
Even for a short time, allow the feelings and sensations to be there.
You will start to notice how they change. Nothing is permanent.
The quality of the sensations change and the intensity will ease. Knowing this, knowing impermanence helps.
Because this feeling has arisen, it will pass.
Investigate what is happening.
What is actually happening?
You will notice the difference between what is actually happening and the story.
There are the raw sensations of what it is like.
Then there are the thoughts about it. They are very convincing but often wrong or inaccurate.
Thoughts are embodied and so emerge from your current biological state and influence it.
What you focus on governs how you feel.
What am I focusing on? What happens when I change my focus?
This is an opportunity to self-coach yourself through these moments, reminding yourself it will pass.
Nurture and non-identify.
Finally, with clarity you can decide what to do to look after yourself.
You can also non-identify — you are not your pain, or the thoughts or feelings. You are the one who is aware.
By pulling back, you notice this and it creates space for you to self-care.
What can you do right now to feel better?
Breathe? Move? Change your thinking and focus? Listen to music? Go outside? Speak to a loved one? Watch something funny?
There are many ways to change your state. What works for you?
This is a practice.
You can rehearse at times when you feel better so you develop your skill.
Find an area of tension or low level discomfort in your body and run through the RAIN practice.
In time it becomes seamless and natural.
When you use RAIN, you are relating and responding with care, calm and compassion.
Below is some more information.
See you tomorrow.
r.s.
RAIN resources:
Blog from Tara Brach
A downloadable guide
A guided meditation