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5 secrets to overcoming pain…

by | May 19, 2024 | Chronic pain, Pain Coach

…that shouldn’t be secret so I am sharing them

** Post also available on my Substack here where you can sign up to receive daily deliveries

The primary reason chronic pain is the No1 global health burden is because it is misunderstood.

You know what it feels like, but you don’t understand why it persists.

Without that understanding, it is hard to be on a path to making life better in all the ways that are possible.

My approach is to look at what works.

To focus on what you want, rather than what you don’t.

What is going well, rather than what is not.

Your strengths, rather than your weaknesses.

The things you can do, rather than what you can’t.

And build on these.

Who does well?

I learn from the people who do well.

** They have defined what ‘doing well’ means.

What are they doing, and how are they doing it?

Here are some of my conclusions from studying their journeys over the past 30 years.

And just to say, this is a challenging journey.

This is not a recipe for success.

There is no one way.

It is finding your way forward, following your up and down path, often guided and encouraged professionally and by loved ones.

These ‘secrets’ are not specific to pain. They do seem to be important to ease one’s suffering.

What are their secrets?

They fall into these interrelated categories:

  • beliefs
  • hopes
  • consistency
  • self-compassion
  • mastery

It starts with understanding.

Understanding your pain and yourself in your world.


What do you believe is causing your pain?

What do you believe you can do about it?

These beliefs shape your experience and the things you do.

Examining and updating your beliefs is often a key step.

Aha moments that lead to new experiences of you and the world.


Knowing that each moment and experience is different brings hope.

As does knowing that we are changing all the time.

How you are now is not how you will be.

How you are feeling now, it will pass.

What arises always passes.

We are designed to learn and grow.

Unless you believe you can’t.

Which is the essence of stuckness.


Is key.

Consistent daily practice of skills and strategies that keep you on your path.

And bring you back when you stray.

Knowing that each practice does not necessarily bring an obvious change.

Knowing that being consistent means you are creating the conditions for meaningful change to come when it comes.

There is no controlling outcomes.

There is controlling your consistent practice.


Kindness to self.

Making self-care important.

Because it is.

Meeting your needs.

Self-care is not selfish.

It is more selfish when you don’t care for yourself.

** Simple Self-care virtual retreat — date to be announced this week; you will hear first if you subscribe for early bird tickets


Understanding and overcoming chronic pain is a route of mastery.

Personal development and growth.


You do not need fixing.

You are as you are.


The Pain Coach: guiding and encouraging you to understand overcome your chronic pain

Understand and overcome your chronic pain, the book. For people who are suffering and for people who are helping and guiding the people who are suffering. 

It is also for people who want to live well because we all suffer and want to learn how to ease suffering by living our best lives. 

The book